Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna... The Review

Note: The title of my post has been inspired by the tonnes of Bollywood movie titles, which reads like for e.g.

Daag - The Fire (Yaar is aag mein mujhe bhi jala de!!!)
Mudda - The Issue (Spare me please! Get me a tissue)
Kyon ki - It's fate (What the FCUK? mate!!!)

And loads like these.

Now lets get back to the review. I have Mr. Black and Mr.White with us to give us company today.

Me : Dudes, the movie really sucked bigtime. Ain't it?

Mr Black: $ucked??? I thought "Kal Ho Na Ho" sucked. This one is nowhere in the same league!

Mr White: Arey nahi yaar...It was a cool movie. Not as good as Karan's other masterpieces, but still quite viewable.

Me : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold on. Do you know I wasted 8£ on this movie. There was not even a part of the movie which I thought did justice my expenses.
Oh wait. There was a 15 second guest appearance by Kajol (my fav actress!!! I wish my wife be a Kajol Part2)

Mr. Black: Don't bank on Part2's. They are never hits!

Mr. White: I got you on this one Dude. What say about Shrek2 & Spiderman2?

Mr. Black: $crew you. They are animations!

Mr. White: I beg to differ. Spiderman is not an animation!

Me : Hey! Stop your banter. We are here to discuss KANK.

Mr. White: Okay. Sorry mate.

Mr. Black: Whatever!!!

Me : One good thing about the movie that it played Dhoom2 trailer( Not DOOM2 puhleeeeeeez!!! )

Mr Black (wicked smile) : Another part2 movie? Shouldn't we be talking about KANK.

Mr White : They showed Dhoom2 trailor while KANK screening so it can be cosidered a part of the movie experience.

Me : India sure is progressing. Extra marital affairs are now being openly portrayed on tv and films. Even in KANK extra marital affair is shown... but was it justifed?
Mr Black : This is the saddest take on the subject, ever!! If you want to watch sensible movies on the subject then you should watch Arth or Silsila.

Mr White : No. Not at all! The movie has helped cine goers realize that such affairs are not bad.
It might help people some people who are still unable to make a choice between spouse and lover. Why ruin your spouse's life, if you dont love him/her.
Its an honest attempt at filmmaking.

Me : Spare me the rant! Whats so honest about the movie? Karan has just made the movie to earn some NRI bucks.
This movie has been packaged only for NRI audiences. the lavish costumes... extravagant sets... party numbers...strong cast with NRI fav Shah(halkata hua)Rukh Khan leading the pack.

Mr Black (turning to Mr White): There is no logic employed in the movie. Tell me
1> Why is Shahrukh always irritable throughout the movie?
2> Why is Rani so obsessed with cleanliness?
3> What has Abhishek done( or NOT done ;-}) to be classified as a Kid?
4> Why does Rani hate Abhishekh? Is he as bad as me in creating a mess in a room?
5> Why does respectable Amitabh ji( playing the not so respectable Sexy Sam), have a new gal daily and yet have the audacity to give a speech saying that he loves his late wife?

Me : I know the answer to the 5th question. A friend told me that Sexy Sam sleeps with women so that he may forget his wife's demise.

Mr Black: What friend? Mr. White kya? What the FCUK? Hasn't Sam heard of the good ol' way of drinking to death?
Now I know why Sam's sexy... He can screw himself to death!!! ha ha ha..

Mr White (a disapproving frown on his face): But the music is great, you know!
Me : Ya, I think I can somewhat to agree to that. The "Mitwaa" song was sure melodious and fresh.

Mr Black : But the songs are never in sync with the situation. And the first song.. (Glad that i don't remember it!!)It was so horrible that I could not resist from going out to grab a popcorn.

Mr White: All actors played their parts brilliantly.

Mr Black (in a subdued tone..): to make the movie worse.

Me : Yes. Shahrukh was in good form and scored a century. Abhishekh scored a quickfire 50. Rani was also in brilliant nick. Apart from a few moments of anxiety, while approaching the well compiled century. It was a very good innings, very closed to what she pulled off in Sanjay Leela Bhansali's Black. Preeti had nothing much to do than to be her bubbly self and play some exquisite cover drives. And our experienced middle order batsman, played really well but was out to a horribly conceived carricature( read: Sexy Sam!). Kirron, as magnificient as ever, played a sweet little innings.

Wonderful as they batted, they were let down when they came on to bowl. Karan lacked pace in his bowling. And as a captian, Karan did not set his field right. Lot many missed chances. Unlike his previous encounters, this time around, his captaincy was flawed and this cost the team the match.

Mr.White : Ok. I agree that he did not get it perfect this time, but I am sure that his next will be good.

Mr. Black : That's just a Purr-fect ending. My advice to your readers would be "Kabhi...Karan Johar ki picture na dekhna....."

Me : I sure will remember it.

P.S> Some researchers belive that Karan was inspired by the hollywood film Closer (If you haven't watched it, please do so. It's definitely worth a dekho).
But, the main difference between Closed and KANK is that :

In Closer, Extramarital Affairs is wrong and it RIGHTFULLY punished but in KANK,
it is considered acceptable and is RIGHTFULLY forgiven.
Now I am confused.. Which one is more Right ;-)

Cheers. Have a great day.