To News or Not To News.....

If you have been following ISHTARRR News for some time you would be aware of their main area of expertice.
You guessed right. It's MASALA!!!
I think ISHTARRR News is fighting a batle against IshTimes Of Bharath.
The winner takes it all!!! "Who is more Masaledaar?"

Note: The last time I read it maybe an year back it was full of the same MASALA
...just a tad milder!

And its not that I dont like MASALA, I love it provided it's within my digestible range ;-)

I can quote examples from the last couple of weeks that would make you pull out all the hair from ur head....
Disclaimer: "The author has no intention of creating a bald readership. Any case of balness, total or partial, arising from reading this article cannot be blamed on the author!!!"

1> Ramu ki Sholay--> "Sirf Esha ban sakti hai Basanti!!!"
Interviewer speaking to Hema Malini: "Aapko pata hai Ramuji Sholay ki remake karne wale hain!"
Hema: "Yes"
ISTHM: "If you has a choice, whom would you cast in your role of Basanti?"
Hema: "Ji, Agar mujhe poocha jaye, to obviously mein apni beti Esha ko hi recommend karoongi."
NewsReader: "App logon ne sahi suna! Hema ji ka kehna hai ki Basanti ka koi kirdaar nibha sake to bas unki beti Esha hai!!"

My Expression at this stage: "What The F***!!! Hema never said that???

2> Indian Cricket Team--> "Cricket -- Yeh Dil Mange Money Money !!"
Some wierd guy: "Indian Team ka kehna hai ki woh tayyari nahi karenge Africa ke daure se pehle"
"Tendulkar team ke liye bahut hi kharab role model sabit ho rahe hain!"

My Expression at this stage: Disbelief!!! Most of the youngsters want to be Tendulkar...
What's wrong with the Media?? Even Sehwag joined the team a Tendulkar clone!!!

SWG, continuing his monologue: "Tendulkar ne abhi ek advertisement shoot kane ke liye ek poora din bitaya.
Unse inspired hokar, Dhoni aur Pathan ne bhi ADIDAS ke liye ramp par chad gaye. Kya yehi sikha rahe hain Tendulkar apne juniors ko??"

My Expression at this stage: "WTF!!!" And I change the channel.

3> Rahul Dravid's Captaincy: "Captaincy Zaroori, Ballebazi nahi!!"
NewsReader: "Rahul Dravid ka kehna hai ki unke liye sirf captaincy zaroori hai ballebazi nahi.
Aaj kar nets par bhi woh practice nahi kar rahe hain Dravid"

Now they show a clip from press conference with Dravid.
Dravid: "Ya I am batting well these past few months, but the team is not been able to acheive much success.

My Expression at this stage: Shocked.. as the clipping has no relation to the Headlines!!!

4> Ravi Chopra: "Phir banegi Mahabharat---Rani banegi Draupadi!!"
Interviewer speaking to Ravi Chopra: "Aapki Mahabharat mein, draupadi ka role to Rani Mukherjee nibha rahai hai"
Ravi: "Nahi aisa nahi hai... Abhi to script bhi finalize nahi hui hai. Casting to hum script ke baad hi start karenge"
NewsReader: "Ravi Chopra ki 100 Crore ki Mahabharat mein Rani Banegi Drapadi!!"

Same news continued:
Interviewer speaking to Mukesh Khanna: "Aapke Bhishm Pitamah ka kirdaar, Amitabh Bachachan nibhane wale hain! Kya kehna hai aapko iske bare mein?"
Mukesh Khanna: " Mahabharat phir se banana bahut mushkil hai."
NewsReader: " To dekhiye, Mukesh Khanna ka kehna hai ki unka kirdaar nibhana Amitabh ji ko bahut mushkil ho sakta hai.."

My Expression at this stage: I throw the remote at my roommate, who take a diving single handed catch.
And then I issue a waring: "Is ghar mein aur kisi ne ISHTARRR News lagaya to uski khair nahi..."


Have a good day!

Ur pal,
The Lonely Traveller