Gabbar Vs. Sambha

Do you know what happens when idle brains clash? They remake Sholay, making Gabbar and Sambha as the lovable fiendly (spelling mistake intended!!! ;¬) duo.
Preeti, henceforth addressed as Gabbar, is a lovable nocturnal creature working at a TOI office in India.
Your's Truly, hereafter addressed as Sambha, is a (not so) lovable daytime beast working at a Client site in London.

One fine day.....

Gabbar:
Haan to sambha kya ho raha hai re???????

Sambha:
Kuch nahi gabbar pyare!
Bas kaam chal rahe they dher saare!
Tu suna tera kya haal hai..
Hum toi yahaan behaal hain.

Gabbar:
Sahi... itne nikkamme ho gaye.. ki shayari shuru kar di..
bura nahi hai.. likho.. hindi filmo mein kaam mil jayega..
isi tarah ke lyrics ko jazz music ke sath bajate hai..
woh suna hai na..

hai huku..hai huku.. hai hai
yeh ladki mere samne mera dil liye jai

so the idea was to say that girl took my heart away...
lyricist ko kuch sujha nahi to pehle line mein
hai huku..hai huku laga diya...
Saala junglee!!
Kuch dino mein naya gana aayega

jinga jinga... hum tum barsat mein bhinga...
hulu hulu... tera mai.. meri
tu.

Sambha:
Saaley! Gabbar!!
Mere shayari ko tumne hai huku se compare kiya.....
Is gustakhi ki saja milegi..
Zaroor milegi magar pyar se.... gandhigiri se!!!

Gabbar, tumhare jaisa dost ho to shukriya upar wale ka..
Hum jaiso ko raasta tumhi to dikhate ho..
Warna yaar- dost to saikdon hain jahaan mein
Magar har roz tumhi kyon yaad aate ho..

Gabbar:
Gabbar-Sambha ki jodi..
Jaise khate-pite ghar ke godha -godhi
Dono saat samundar ki doori hai..
Phir bhi nahi koi majboori hai..
Aish karte hai....karwate hain
Koi interfere kare to uski waat lagate hai..

Sambha:
Ispar humein bhi kuch kehna hai..

Ae dost, tumhe meri dosti ka hai waada...
Tang na kiya kar, humein itna zyada...
Jaag utha agar mere andar ka khoonkhaar janwar...
Bemaut mar jayega tu mere yaar...
Aur yeh na kehna hi kiya nahi tha tumhein khabardaar.
Gabbar ho ya Gobar.. Pitega mujhse tu baar-baar..
Lagatar.... Hoshiyaar!!!

Gabbar:
Agar tumhe janwar jagana aata hai..
To humein tumhara bhoot bhagana aata hai
Dosti ke naam per paan ki peek...
Itna maar khayega ki ho jayega thik..

Bemaut marne ki baari tumhari hai..
Jeet to kal bhi hamari thi aaj bhi hamari hai..
Chikta rahega khabardaar hoshiyaar....
Aur upar se padti rahegi tujhe maar

Itna nahi kafi... to hum karenge upkar
Gift mein denge tujhe juton ka haar....
Kyon darpok... tera josh kidhar gaya
Yaad rakhna-- gabbar ne kaha tha-- jo darr gaya woh marr gaya
ha ha ha !!!

Sambha:
Ab bhoot hi keh diya humein to yeh lo jawaab!!

Jaanwar to kabu me phir bhi aa jate hain
Shaitaan ko kaise kabu me kar paogi?
Abhi door hain to 'tang' kar leti ho mujhe..
India agar aaon to kya yeh continue kar paoge..

Jeet tumhari kabhi na thi...
Kabhi na hogi...
Gabbar ki jeet sirf khwabon mein..
Sirf khwabon mein hongi poori!

Kar le jatan..kar le koshish...
Ae Joonton ke haar ke sartaj !!
Gabbar ki batein humein yaad rahengi..
Itni maar ke baad Gabbar ko khood yaad ho, yeh maalom nahi!

Ye maan le dost, ki tang karne me mazaa aata hai
Jazbaato ke saagar mein lehrein uthti hain
Tumhara mann un lehro me gote lagata hai..
Kya karein dost, tu mere mann ko bahut bhata hai
Aur iske aage mujhe kuch nahi aata kai :)

Ab bol kambakth!!!

Gabbar:
Jaldi hi khud ko shaitaan man liya tumne
Hamare taquat ke samne
Hathiyar dal diya tumne
Khair isme hi tumhari bhalai thi..

Warna kya tumhari shamaat aayi thi..
Jo gabbar ke samne sir uthate
Idiotic shayri se mera mood jalate

Waise gabbar ko tumhari ek baat pasand aayi

Tang karne ka maaza hi kuch hai bhai
Dekho tang kare-karte hum shayar ho gaye
Sholay ki duniya se nikle to shayari ki duniya mein kho gaye.

Friendship ka yeh andaaz accha hai
Par maan le tu mere samne bacchha hai.

ha ha ha ha !!!

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Gabbar ki in baaton se Sambha bilkum darr gaya...
No reply for some time...

An ecstatic Gabbar replies:
Kaisa saathi hai tu gabbar ka jo darr gaya
Kya main samjhu tu marr gaya
Dena nahi aata jawab
Ab to teri halat hai kharab
Teri halat dekh kar taras aa raha hai
Jo kal tak sher bana phirta tha.. aaj ghas kha raha hai ha ha ha

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Hope I didn't bug all with my stupid (as ME) post ;-)
Take care.
TLT