Tagged - Why I am the Way I am

This is $$%%%$$ tough. Judging/Understanding oneself is really tough. Rai is the one who is making me do this.
'Dishum! Dishum! Pow! Kapow! Kaboom! Smack!' That was for you Rai ;-)

It's so easy to say "Alice is so pretty. She has a kind heart." Or, let's say "Ramesh is a brave boy. He fights everyday to overcome his own demons" .
Or, even easier would be to say "Shelly is such a mean person!" or probably "John doesnt even know how to dress smart!"

But, can I ever say something like this about myself? If I say good about myself people will think "Saala! Apne muh aap miyan mithu"
And bad about myself, I do not have the courage to say it out. I am afraid that it will ruin whatever I have currently. So this post would just be about my whites, or maybe something which is gray! But there won't be any black which will be revealed today.
I have tweaked the topic of the post more to my liking. This post contains 6 different characteristics of me and why I have those traits.

To make it interesting, let me try to write these in Haikus.

1. Emotional

Drops of rain
Tears gushing out
Mom scolded

(I cannot hide my emotions. You are at a disadvantage when people can fathom what really is going on inside your mind. I need to learn to mask my emotions.
Even watching some movies can induce tears in my eyes. This is definitely hereditary. My mom is as emotional as I am.
Note~ I don't cry when I chop onions)

2. Dual Personality

Under the hot moon
I saw it;
My mood swing

(One moment I am the happiest person on earth and in the next I am bitter. I don't understand why? Maybe its the way my DNA has intertwined.. :-)
Apart from this, compared to what I am otherwise, I am a totally different person when I am at office. This change is intended. I like to keep my work and home separate.
Note ~ My friends don't like this!!)


3. Tough

Scorching sun -
Dad's near fatal accident
Makes me sweat

(My dad's near death experience has changes our lives for ever. Each member in our family is now tougher than ever.)

4. Love My Comics

Sipping coffee reading;
In the balcony
Mandrake The Magician

(I love reading comics and graphic novels. Not that I don't read the normal novels. I do that too!
But I am not as passionate about it as I am for the comics. This I definitely know why. From childhood I was brought up on a regular doze of Indrajal comics featuring Phantom, Mandrake, Rip Kirby, Flash Gordon etc.)


5. Topophobic

Heartbeat rising
Stop; school stage
Morning speech

(I was always nervous when I was on stage.
I remember that once I had told my Mom that I could hear my heartbeats more than the speech that I delivered on stage. She immediately took me for a echo test to make sure my heart was fine. The doctor suggested that the symptom could be because of my nervousness ;-)
Again, I have not been able to find the root cause of this phobia. Maybe this is because I was always afraid of people judging me.

6. Funny Guy with lots of PJs :-)

Her smiling splashes
Recycled water
Really bad hairday

(I was watching Jiah Khan's lawn bath, from the movie "Nishabd", on Saturday. That was when I remembered that our company is very eco friendly an uses recycled water for watering our lawns.
I couldn't restrain myself from passing this comment "I wonder how Jiah's hair would look after a bath at My Company's lawns ;-)
And people did laugh at my pathetic joke!!!
I credit this trait my my friends. I was lucky( Read: Lucky me ... Unlucky You) to be in the company of friends who encouraged my stupid jokes... ;-)
Note~ Chandler Bing is my IDOL!


The bottom line is that we are moulded the way we are because of
1> Social Environment
2> Family
3> Friends
4> Adversities
5> Geographical Location
6> Faith
There are a lot more factors too that contribute to your appreciation or depreciation in some way or the other.
In the end what matters most is that what sort of clay you are made of? How resilient you are to bad influences and how accommodating you are to the good ones!

Cheers,
TLT