Shades of me..

Have you ever played this game where you are given a word and you need to tell the first 5 things that come to your mind.
I tried my hand at this on the two colours that I like the most.

BLACK : sarcastic, wicked, sad, liar, rash, lazy, daring, rude, shameless

WHITE : happy, emotional, honest, hard-working, witty, scared, courteous, thoughtful

Why I don't smile more often?

Mr Black:

1> I hate smiles.
2> What should I be happy about? I hate myself?
3> People just kick me around... I am a nobody!!!

Mr White:

1> I am happy but maybe I don't express my happiness enough.
2> I am so much charred within, that even if I smile, it will only increase my pain.
3> I am scared of relationships.

What do I like/hate about my Job?

Mr Black:

1> I don't like being pressurized by someone.
2> I want to start something of my own. But,at present, I cannot afford to lose this job. I am angry at myself for not having the guts to take this step.


Mr White:

1> I am good at what I do. My work satisfies me.
2> Money is a key driving factor. I earn good money. Happiness can be almost bought by money.

Just two questions and I have already have multiple answers ready. And moreover all totally diverse.

Why is my life so two dimensional? Why is that I am always at the extremes? Why is it that I don't have the varied array of emotions that I can see in most of my friends. Why can't I be just a normal guy?

My life is only in Black and White..I wish I could change.....
I wish there were more shades of me!